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Volume 58: Conflict Resolution

January 2019

This month’s eLEAD theme is one of the top characteristics of leadership effectiveness as identified by Towers Watson.  This month the focus is to recognize and address discord in a fair and positive manner.
 
As we begin a new year, it provides an opportunity for new learning and approaches. While conflict or difference of opinions may be unavoidable, effective leaders are able to recognize and address discord in a fair and positive manner. 
 
And this is my prayer, that your love may overflow more and more with knowledge and full insight to help you determine what is best… Philippians 1:9-10a


CLERGY CLINIC IN FAMILY EMOTIONAL PROCESS

Don’t take it personally.” We’ve all heard that advice. Many of us have given that advice. Most of also know that such advice and $2 will get you a cup of coffee. How exactly does one go about not taking a complaint, an evaluation, or an insult personally?

Learning to see relationships through the lens of Family Systems Theory can help. When we can begin to understand that each of us is the tip of a family iceberg, and that much of our emotional life takes place not just underneath the surface, but underneath the generations, we can then better understand the critic, and our own response to the critic. Such understanding can lead to a wider variety of responses and promote “not taking it personally.”

The Lombard Mennonite Peace Center and the WNCC Leadership Development Team have partnered to bring the “Clergy Clinic” to the Charlotte area. Through the lens of family systems, participants in “Clergy Clinic” learn how to see one’s own family, and the family that is the congregation in a different light. Seeing our families from a different perspective can add life, vitality, and creativity to both ministry, and extended family relationships.

The Leadership Development Team is offering $1,000 scholarships to lay and clergy ministry professionals who want to invest in “getting on the balcony.” Sign up soon as spaces are limited. Details are on the Leadership Development page
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GENERIC PROCESS OF APPRECIATIVE INQUIRY

The practice of appreciative inquiry builds on a simple idea: building upon the organization’s strengths – by providing skills and confidence to develop a framework for planning and implementing change and developing energy for that change.  By encouraging a broad range of stakeholders, both within and outside the system to ask positive questions about peak experiences or successes, create shared meaning of the answers, and act on the responses. Appreciative Inquiry serves as the wellspring for transformational change… MORE


WANT LESS CONFLICT?

LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!

This article by David Brubaker of Congregational Consulting Group suggests that congregations who turn outward are less likely to experience conflict...MORE


COMMUNICATE WITH DIPLOMACY AND TACT

Dale Carnegie offers a free eBook entitled “Communicate with Diplomacy and Tact.” This guide gives you powerful insight into your own strengths and weaknesses as a communicator. It is designed to help you learn to disagree in an agreeable manner, assert yourself confidently and tactfully, and demonstrate an open and understanding attitude toward others. Think Mother Teresa!... MORE


GAINING PERSPECTIVE ON AN ARGUMENT

Greater Good in Action of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, offers an exercise as a way to practice perspective-taking skills.  It takes 15 minutes and is recommended three times a year. While the exercise is geared toward partners, the ability to see any situation from a neutral third party perspective can help gain perspective and allow you to lessen negative feelings, build connection and empathy, and ultimately improve the relationship… MORE


TO CHANGE SOMEONE’S MIND, STOP TALKING AND LISTEN

By Nilofer Merchant.

Listening can help address conflict. Samar Minnalah Khan’s experience with tribal leaders in Pakistan provided new insight and understanding as she asked people to share their perspective without trying to convince them of hers. Samar created change not by selling her idea, but creating a way for everyone arrive at a new idea, together… MORE


 HBR GUIDE TO DEALING WITH CONFLICT

When you’re broaching a tricky topic with a colleague, your first few sentences can make or break the discussion. It’s normal to be defensive, and even to put blame on the other person, but implying that your counterpart is wrong will make the tough conversation even worse. Set yourself up for success by establishing common ground between you and the other person. If you aren’t able to pinpoint common ground, or you’re not sure what your counterpart’s goal is, the easiest way to move forward is to ask questions. Explain what’s important to you and then ask, “Is there any overlap with what you care about? Or do you have another goal?” Questions like these set a collaborative tone… MORE


Contact Kim Ingram to share your story of leadership development and learning (success or failures welcome!).


SEARCH THE LEAD WEBSITE FOR MORE RESOURCES


PREVIOUS eLEAD TOPICS

Best of 2018 (December 2018)

Partnerships (November 2018)

Effective Leaders in Ministry (October 2018)

The Heart of Leadership - A Spiritual Bedrock(September 2018)

Equipping Leaders (August 2018) Agile Leadership (July 2018)

Cultural Disruption Strategies (June 2018)

Providing Leadership in Ministry with Millennials (May 2018)

The Politics of Preaching (April 2018)

Engaging and Impacting Community (March 2018)

Spiritual Care (February 2018)

Developing Self-Awareness (January 2018)

Best of 2017 (December 2017)

Investing in the Dream (November 2017)

People-ing The Dream (October 2017)

Vision and Leadership (September 2017)

Developing a Small Group Culture (August 2017)

Stepping Away for Formation, Renewal, and Growth (July 2017)

Starting on the Right Foot (June 2017)

Transitions (May 2017)

Creating the Culture You Desire (April 2017)

Missional Engagement (March 2017)

 
 
Western North Carolina Conference
PO Box 2757
Huntersville, NC 28070
Phone: 704.535.2260